Cancelling reservation

I asked my mom to cancel all the reservations we made before I left Manila. Is this part of wedding preparation? Everytime I think of the cancellations I cant help but cry.

Just the other day, while I'm chatting with my friend, she asked me if it's all worth it...I dont know how to answer her cause I dont even know if it's all worthy to sacrifice my happiness and choose career over my wedding. I know I'm not happy here being alone and all I know that this man I left in Manila is the only one who could make me smile again. But with my contract here, how can I push through with our plans again. Now, i just wanna be with him again and nothing more.